Today!

God has been dealing with me recently!  I have been beat down through the itineration process.  Itineration is the name we give to the time missionaries travel throughout the States raising financial and prayer support.  Well, as the U.S. economy being where it is, there are many struggling churches, making itineration that much more challenging.  After almost 15 months of itineration, we are at 50% of our fund-raising.  My spirit has been struggling with depression.  A pastor friend asked me about this and recommended the book "Spiritual Depression" by D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones.  A didn't fully realize how bad it was getting until I was driving to a church on Sunday morning to preach.  It was a two and half hour drive and Tona and the kids were sleeping.  God was talking to me and the Spirit was upon me.  He was telling me that the "Faith" that I have been preaching about is not always visible in my spirit.  I must walk in faith as I preach on faith.  He said call on me to deliver you from depression.  Call on me to give you strength.  Call on me to handle that which belongs to me.  Jesus' sacrifice was to provide deliverance from attacks of the enemy.  There is power in that name! 

A friend heard me calling out His name, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus" and said reminded her of the movie "Beetlejuice".  (If you call the name of Beetlejuice three times, he shows up.)  Well that is precisely how it works!  "Jesus" my Lord, "Jesus" my strength. "Jesus" my deliverer and there He is!

When the enemy attacks, he keeps attacking.  He looks for ways to grab strongholds in our lives and he exploits them.  He seeks to destroy our faith as well as our spirit.  He tells us that we are alone and we should be embarrassed to share with others.  The devil is the king of lies.  He wants to separate us from others, especially God, in order to control us.  He loves our pride, our fear, our depression...  But, he has no power against our Lord and Savior.  God cast him out of heaven and He will cast him out of the earth when Christ returns.  We, who know Christ, share in His victory.

And so, driving to the church, God said, "Tell others that the victory is yours, through Me.  Your Lord is the deliverer and has already won the battle for you.  Release your struggles for they are Mine to handle.  I am and will be with you all the days of your life.  I will never leave you nor forsake you.  Call on me each day at your waking hour to be with you and there I will be."  The Spirit of the Lord was so powerful that the long car ride felt like 15 minutes as we approached the church.  I was determined to share what God said to me.  When we arrived at the church, we handled our typical pre-service routine of table setup and media preparation.  The pastor took me into his office and shared with me the struggles of the church.  By the time the service started, I was beginning to question the word that I needed to share...until the worship band played the song "Today"

Today I choose to follow You
Today I choose to give my "Yes" to You
Today I choose to hear your voice and live
Today I choose to follow You

As for me and my house we will serve You
As for me and my house we will spend our lives on You
today

Wonderful counselor, everlasting father
Eternal King, Lord of Hosts, willingly we follow (today)

Today I choose to follow You
Today I choose to give my "Yes" to You
Today I choose to hear your voice and live
Today I choose to follow You 

And then a woman went to the front as God was calling her to come and seek His path for her.  And the pastor extended the invitation to the congregation.  But the Spirit was telling me there were more...they're just afraid to take the first step. And so I leaned over to Tona and said "God wants me to change things up.  Is that okay with you?"  If you know Tona then you know that changing structure makes her nervous, but at that moment I could see the peace of the Lord upon her.  She just said "Tell me when you need me!"

And the Spirit of the Lord moved and I shared His word for me and for them.  It was definitely not me on that stage; the Spirit was having His way.  We continued with a modified version of our service, allowing the Spirit to reshape and reword as needed. 

Afterwords, a thankful pastor shared with us, "That was the perfect message that God was telling me for today!"; the confirmation to me that God wants us not only hear His words but obey.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, today I choose to follow You!  Today I choose to say "Yes" to You!  Today I will listen and obey and we will walk in victory, together.